Being There

This has been a crazy whirlwind of a year. My drafts folder is full of posts about difficult situations, unsupportive administrations, poorly trained staff turning behavior plans into worthless pieces of paper....But I'm ready to delete all of those and never look back.

So I was thrilled to leave it all behind, even if the way it happened was less than ideal. I took what was supposed to be a short term gig in the winter, and now here we are, a week from the end of school, and I have learned more than I ever thought possible from this situation. I have worked with a staff of incredible caring educators, an administration that celebrates the teachers and their hard work. I had to realize that I was being asked if I needed anything because people genuinely wanted to help-they weren't just saying it out of politeness. No one was put-upon if I said yes, and I had plenty of chances to return the favor later.


But today isn't about all that. Today was our final day of Kindergarten. Today I watched a little boy who when I met him *refused* to sit on the rug, join his class for activities and lessons-a boy who turned his back on the situation, and kicked or hit or screamed when that failed....Today I watched him get up on stage. I watched his eyes light up when he saw his family. I watched him sing his heart out, and dance. I watched the anxiety melt out of him. I watched him put his arm around another child's shoulders and bow. I watched him use his words when the waiting and the sitting was too much, and I watched him slowly warm himself back up to go back in for the final number, his beloved dance song. And then we danced, and we laughed, and we felt the love of his family radiating all the way from the back of the packed room.


I know I'll never forget him. I'll never forget the look on his face the first time I asked him if he was worried about a situation he was refusing to participate in. And when I told him we'd just look, and we could leave. I'll never forget the first time he told me he was mad instead of spitting at me. I'll never forget him leaning over to me right before we went on stage and telling me "I'm scared. I want to hide with you" (behind the curtain, where I told him I would be) and his smile when I said "What if I come with you?" I'll never forget doing those silly dances on stage with him, and not caring what any of the parents thought except maybe his....and I'll never forget watching him, knowing he was ready, and stepping to the side so his family could get some glorious pictures of him, comfortable and happy, singing with his class....with me close but "hiding".


It took a lot. It took being there, being with him, when the anxiety and frustration welled up inside of him and exploded out. It took time, and patience-a lot of it. It took seeing past him needing control to figuring out why. I heard from so many people what he wouldn't do, what he couldn't do....and their reasons why. It took being there for him and letting him tell me in his own time, in his own way, why, to start being able to fill his toolbox with new strategies.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately written by Autistic adults and young adults. I've been taking to heart their words, about the way the world thinks about them, the assumptions they make. I have them to thank for my decision to slow down, to be with this child, to recognize the fear in his eyes even when the rest of his body screamed "defiance" in ways that were hard to ignore. And I love the team of educators that worked with me to support him, who tossed their initial assumptions out the window, who embraced new ideas and different motivations for familiar behaviors, and who joined us in taking a new approach. I've been lucky to have them, and so has he.

Small World

The greatest thing that happened to me recently was during my morning crosswalk duty on Friday. I know, who likes being on drop-off duty? First of all, a chance to be outside is always welcome. I used to go to recess with my students every day, and I've been missing the fresh air. But that wasn't the reason that day.

While I was waving the cars through and helping the kids and parents cross to the building, a minivan pulled up beside me. The driver yelled out, "What are YOU doing here?" I knew that one of my students from my previous school lived in the district, and I had found out his sister was in my school. However, I hadn't managed to figure out if they came to open house earlier this week and assumed I wouldn't see them for a while. But now that I had an added morning duty, I was there to see them. They invited me to their son's football game this weekend, and I think his head is going to explode when he sees me. He's one of those kids I just love spending time with, and I'm excited to see him and to be a part of his community.

No matter where I go, I am never far away from my old students and their families. I had a good friend who worked for a summer with a 3rd grade student I had  taught when he was in preschool. I ran into that same student when observing a social skills group as part of an interview for a part time job. I have had students in my class at my outplacement school who came from the same public school I previously taught in. While there are some students I wanted to cross paths with again and haven't (yet)...ultimately, I feel like I live in a small world. The special education community in my area is full of surprises. Two former coworkers are in various positions in my current school building. One I went to college with and worked with during an internship about 7 years ago. The other was from my first job out of college, which I left almost 4 years ago.

It makes the goodbyes I've had to say easier. I'm getting better at it. While I still connect with my students, and do so quickly, I find it easier to let go knowing that our paths may cross again. I wouldn't be able to keep them at too much of a distance, and I wouldn't be a big help to them if I tried. My kids with emotional, behavioral, and attachment issues need to know that I do genuinely care for them. You can't fake that. And after only 4 weeks with my little guys, I really do care about each one of them. But I know that when I do move on, or when they do, we'll find each other again sometime. At some little moment. And I, as usual, will be amazed by how much they've learned and how far they've come. And as always, I will be proud as hell of the people they're becoming.

Changes...

When I started this blog, I was a 1:1 aide in a public school, working with a co-taught 4th grade class. I had all the time in the world after school. I didn't plan anything, I didn't prep anything, I just worked with the materials I had. I thought I would blog.

Then last year, I got a job as an assistant teacher in a therapeutic middle school. I was suddenly planning for 3-4 subjects per day (social studies, math, reading group, and grammar) and assisting with writing, community meeting, social skills, and so on. About the only thing I wasn't involved in was science. I loved my job intensely and connected with my students easily. But I was busy and exhausted and picking up overtime hours and going to the gym like it was my (second) job. So I didn't blog.

Ultimately, I needed to move on this summer, because I have had my masters and teaching license since 2011 and haven't utilized it as a head teacher yet. Breaking into the head teacher role was difficult. Interviewing and convincing people that I could take on roles that were not part of my previous job, such as testing/evaluations, managing staff, and writing IEPs. Luckily each job gave me a little more experience, and at this point, I am happy to say I managed to be comfortable enough to convince a district to give me a shot. And I don't always know what I'm doing, but I always have someone I can ask.


I interviewed for, was offered, and accepted my current position the Friday before my old job was meant to start. There was a week of orientation for staff there, and hopefully that gave them some time to replace me. My new students, however, started just 2 days after I was hired. It has been a complete whirlwind and I'm still trying to catch my breath. My team just now feels like we're starting to settle in a bit after 4 weeks (15 school days)--I think having 2 full weeks has been helpful, because it solidified our schedule a bit.

I am teaching in a 1st-5th grade emotional/behavioral program where kids vary wildly from on/above grade-level to kids with huge skill gaps, reading  3+ years below grade level...and kids with minor behavioral issues who have succeeded in the program and gained skills over the years, to kids who have majorly unsafe behaviors we're starting to see bubble up to the surface. I have 7 students who are included in 5 different classes. I am co-teaching with a general education teacher who consults with teachers to deliver their grade level work if they can't get it in class, while I modify classroom work to meet their needs. I have 3 fabulous paraprofessionals who support my kiddos in inclusion. My biggest nightmare is managing the schedule for all of us, but its beginning to settle down and all 12 of us know where we should be when and with whom. Until it all changes again.


I guess my point is, I am absolutely not less busy than I was before. I am not finding myself with an abundance of free time. But when I do have free time, I am finding that I want to spend time talking about my work, sharing ideas, and being part of a larger community of educators. So now, finally, I feel ready to actually put some work into this blog. I hope it will be a useful outlet for me, a resource for others, and a connection to people who are working in similar environments.

Snacks in a Hurry

I've been working on organizing myself lately, to keep my mornings going smoothly. I have been reading this organizing blog and the blogger posted about setting up snacks that she and her family could grab on the way out the door. I find with a little effort, I can prepare myself for breakfast/snack and lunch all week! This is what I came up with for my pantry snacks. I have popcorn, individual servings of goldfish, containers of mixed nuts, and granola bars and squares. I also have small containers of granola that I pack to put in with my yogurt.

After I got that done, I was on an organizing kick (which, if you knew me, you would know is completely out of character) and so I got started on my refrigerated snacks. I usually have yogurt with fruit and granola for snack-easy enough when there are berries on sale, but if I end up putting kiwi or strawberries or anything I need to cut up inside, it's a nightmare in the morning. So I sat down one Sunday and had a week's worth of snacks prepped in about 20 minutes.

It does get a tiny bit watery, but if you mix it up right before you eat it, you can't even tell. I spend some time on Sunday nights preparing my yogurt and fruit, cutting up vegetables to go with my lunch, and cooking meals for the week. That gives me time during the week to focus on my responsibilities at work, go to the gym, and allow myself to relax a bit. With a tiny bit of planning ahead, you can really cut out a lot of time and make things so much easier for yourself. And on Sundays when I don't want to do it, I try to pick one thing I'll have extra time for during the week if I do it, and put it on my calendar so I have something to look forward to.

Welcome to the Unexpected!

Welcome to my blog! I've been really enjoying reading all kinds of blogs lately, but I couldn't figure out what kind I wanted mine to be. I could do a cooking blog, to chronicle my adventures in the kitchen. Then I thought about a teaching blog, to discuss all of my various classroom ideas, funny stories, and helpful tips. I've been getting really interested in organization lately, and trying to decorate my home-going on my 3rd year in the same apartment, I'm finally ready to put nails in the wall. I would love to share my ideas and progress. I've already been all over pinterest finding ideas, of course.
But ultimately, I couldn't do a blog about just one part of my life. Not only because I would get bored, but because I know that whatever I was thinking about would creep in anyway!
Why Adventures in the Unexpected? Good question. First of all, those of us who have worked with the Social Thinking curriculum have probably heard the phrase "That's unexpected!" more times than we can count. I know it comes out of my mouth at least 10 times per day. And of course, our unexpected moments often make the absolute best stories to tell! For the uninitiated, unexpected behavior is anything that breaks a social rule or norm, basically-whether it's usually a spoken or unspoken rule. I'm sure you'll get the idea soon enough if you keep reading. But ultimately, the blog got the title because it wouldn't be mine without a fair amount of randomness. So while you might find a lot of random topics covered here, hopefully you'll find them funny and interesting as well!
Hope you enjoy!
~Ms. I